Snakes on a Rheiard
by Piro the Renagade writer
Summary: There are snakes on these Rheiards! RATED FOR LANGUAGE!


Oh God, I couldn't resist. This was just too good of a chance to pass up. If you've been on the internet lately, you've heard of a movie with Samuel L. Jackson coming out soon called Snakes on a Plane. Well this gave me an idea for ToS humor…this eventually led to this monstrosity…

**SNAKES ON A RHEIARD**

One day Lloyd and pals were riding along in their Rheiards. However, it seemed as if Yuan was up to no good again, as he was chasing the group at a distance, with two Renegades beside him on separate Rheiards.

"I don't get it Lord Yuan," said one of the Renegades, "why are we terrorizing Lloyd and company again? I thought we were all friends…"

"We were…but then the unthinkable happened…"

_FLASH BACK FLASH BACK FLASH BACK!_

Lord Yuan of the Renegades was in his base in the middle of the Triet Desert, watching his favorite show, House. That show so rocks…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Lord Yuan laughed uncontrollably, "THAT GUY'S NUT EXPLODED! Ah, good times…"

"Hey Yuan," a voice came from the door, and in walked Lloyd Irving. Yes, Lloyd still annoys the hell out of people.

"Oh, hello Lloyd, how ar-"

"OHMIGOSH IS THAT HOUSE!" Lloyd yelled and jumped in front of the TV to watch, "COOL! This is the episode where that one dude's nut explodes! I like the part where House accidentally kills that guy cause he thought it was all a hallucination, and wakes up and we find out the whole episode is just a dream. Do you like that part Yuan?"

Yuan stared, wide-eyed, at Lloyd. Then, his eye started to twitch, then his neck muscle. Lloyd, sensing danger, left without saying good-bye. Yuan continued to twitch.

"Lord Yuan," a Renegade walked in, "we have a message from Meltokio…Lord Yuan?"

Yuan looked at the Renegade, his mouth started to foam. He then pulled out his double-bladed-sword-axe-thingy, and sliced the Renegade into ribbons. Many dead bodies and tranqs later, Yuan finally calmed down and deviated a plan…

_END FLASH BACK_

"So now I feel I must revenge upon Lloyd for ruining the show for me!"

"Uh, that episode happened like 5 weeks ago dude…I mean sir-dude."

"…Shut up random renegade#1956," Yuan then sliced up the Renegade and continued following Lloyd and pals.

MEANWHILE…

"Lloyd, I think we should stop," said Colette, "I think we're being followed!"

"By who…mothafcker?"

"I think it's by Yuan," said Colette, "and he has a big crate…and is talking about House."

"House!" Lloyd yelled, "I love that show! Me, and Yuan were watching it the other day!"

Meanwhile, Sheena was listening to her C-pod (Cruxis made I-pod like thing, she found it in Derris Kharlan. Shaddup, I didn't wanna do copywright infringement.), she was bobbing her head and trying to ignore Zelos drooling over her. You know how girls look too undeniably cute with an I-pod…I MEAN C-POD!

Anyway, Yuan flew up next to them, "Lloyd! I shall now get my revenge! I will now put snakes on your Rheiard! MUAHAHAHAHA!"

"Boy, he seems cheery," said Lloyd optimistically.

"More like psychotic," said Genis.

"You're gonna die Lloyd! For you see, THESE ARE SNAKES!"

Yuan then undid the crate and threw the snakes on Lloyd and company. They were garter snakes, and weren't deadly at all. Lloyd didn't know this, however.

"WHAT THE FCK!" Lloyd pulled out his swords and started slashing at the dash of the Rheiards.

"HAHA! Enjoy the snakes Lloyd and company," Yuan and the remaining Renegade rode off. Lloyd was left to fruitlessly battle the snakes.

"Lloyd," began Colette, but couldn't finish, as a snake began to choke her.

Meanwhile, Sheena was oblivious to all, listening to her C-Pod. Suddenly, a snake came up and bit her. Since it was just a tiny Garter snake, she just ripped it off of her arm and threw it at Zelos, who experienced turbulence, and crashed to the ground.

On the ground, Zelos looked at his surroundings. Cat shops…the smell of fish…fur balls everywhere…"OH GOD! NOT KATZ VILLAGE!"

Meanwhile…hehe, that word is awesome. "meanwhile," heh…anyways. Lloyd then got so frustrated, he pulled out a shotgun.

"Lloyd, where did you get," Raine begane, but couldn't finish, as Lloyd entered angry mode.

"That's it," Lloyd said in an ominous tone, "I've had it with these MOTHAFCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHAFCKIN RHEIARD! EVERYBODY STRAP IN!" Lloyd then shot at every Rheiard, trying to kill the snakes, but just damaging the Rheiards. The flying crafts eventually couldn't take anymore, and crash landed on Dirk's house.

Meanwhile, Yuan and the Renegade landed back at the base.

"Muahahaha! My plan worked perfectly! Now, Lloyd and company have crashed into Dirk's house!"

"Um…sir," Random Renegade said, "they aren't dead."

"Oh…uh…time for a new plan. I suggest," Yuan pulled out a clipboard, "Gerbils on a Lezerano elevator?"

The Renegade shook his head.

"Oh, uh…how about dogs on a Noishe?"

"That's just wrong sir."

Meanwhile, Dirk questioned Lloyd and gang.

"So," said Dirk, "why did you crash land into my house?"

"Well," Sheena began, but was cut off by Lloyd.

"THERE WAS MOTHAFCKIN SNAKES ON THEM RHEIARDS!"

Dirk looked at his adoptive son for a long time, then burst out suddenly, "MOTHAFCKER!"

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

My best work yet.


End file.
